Offer yourself with Love, Humility, and Peace in each relationship. Create a connection of Love's Power.
This Power does not control; this Power expands Love's influence.
Relationships made of Love, Humility, and Peace create Power, uplifting the World.
Give yourself full permission to relate authentically - give yourself permission to be your true self in each relationship. This requires knowing yourself and expressing yourself to others. Your ability to love will evolve, as you discover more of who you are. Offering your love into every relationship will bring you joy. If you offer yourself as love, and you are not met with the same, you are still a being of love. Allow yourself to feel love's peace. Feel love's peace flowing through you. Do not make your love dependent on others responses to you. Love's power to give you peace depends on your freedom from external response. Although it feels wonderful to be accepted and loved, do not let your joy be dependent on another's response. Allow your love to fill you, no matter the external response.
Let your mind's perception come from your heart. To the degree you let your love create your life, you are free from dependency on others' responses. When you feel sad or angry, use love's peace and compassion to soothe yourself. Love the other, even if they are not behaving as you desire. When you are not permitted to be yourself in another person's life, respect their boundary. Create the distance you need, in order to be free to be your honest self. When you meet external friction, use love's wisdom to respond with compassion, respect, boundaries, and self care.
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships:
- Appropriate and honest responses
- Informed and realistic expectations
- Freedom to ask what to expect
- Boundaries honestly stated and implemented
- Respect for the boundaries of self and other (for more information, see Relationship Boundaries and Self-Care)
- Consistent self-care
- Agreed upon responsibilities (personal, relationship, financial, household, business, etc)
- Mutual support and encouragement of personal development
- Freedom to develop areas of interest
- Respect and confidence in each other's decisions
- Compliments based on facts
- Agreed upon approaches to issues and goal attainment
- Openness to outside people and resources
- Participation in purposes beyond the relationship
- Honest and open communication
- Integrity as a priority
- Concerns are discussed in productive ways
Characteristics of Unhealthy Relationships:
- One person's burdens overwhelm the other
- Verbal or behavioral threats
- Chronic interpersonal stress
- One person's needs/wants placed above the other's
- Actions, without considering consequences to the other
- Insincere/ dishonest compliments
- Compliments to influence the other, to get one's way
- Requests compromise integrity
- Fear is used to break down boundaries (eg., If you don't do......, I wont be able to handle it; if you leave, I will fall apart; AKA "guilt trip")
- Isolation from family and/or friends
- 'Victim language' such as, "No one loves me,' "You don't care about me," "I am always left out"
- An ongoing unequal balance of responsibility
- Schedules and other boundaries are not respected
- Boundaries are confusing or unclear, even after discussion to clarify
- Expressed boundaries are met with anger
- Boundaries are not expressed openly and honestly
- Disagreement leads to unhealthy communication
- Lack of interest in the other
- One person's relationship needs are met, while the other's are not
- Communication promotes fear and anxiety